I was very struck by Anna Pickard’s Guardian article about meeting people online. Clearly, many other people were too, as it has generated quite a few comments. Pickard maintains that forming friendships online is a very good way of making real and lasting relationships, and I’m inclined to agree. Like her, I am perplexed by some of the negative responses and general bigotry. At this stage, I should probably declare that I met my partner online, through Guardian Soulmates as it happens, and I couldn’t be happier. However, when I reveal this fact in mixed company, some folk see fit to tell me that it’s a “bit odd” or “tawdry”. Why? I suspect the implication is that I lack the social skills to meet someone in the Real World. However, we did actually go on “proper” dates once contact had been established, and by that point we were sure that we had many shared interests and a common philosophy which would form a good basis for a potential relationship. Also, I have an unpleasant habit of judging people entirely by their use of the English language and choice of reading material, so was instantly able to eliminate Dan Brown fans who communicated entirely in txt spk.
I have also made friends online, including the marvellous Kirsty at Other Stories. I first encountered her on LibraryThing after discovering that we shared around 250 books. Obviously, there was a good chance we’d have a fair amount in common, and indeed we did. Some of the people who have commented on Anna Pickard’s article claim that internet friendships aren’t as valid as “real” ones. Surely, though, there’s a world of difference between a friendship established online which results in an actual meeting and someone who simply accumulates virtual friends on Facebook? Personally, I think one of the best aspects of the internet is that it allows us to connect with people who share our interests, however niche. And as for meeting partners, it’s much easier to exercise the old critical faculties online than after a few glasses of wine in a bar.
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